We all strive to be happy, but we have different definitions of what happiness truly means to us.
Jay Shetty invited Kendall Jenner to discuss how she found that being true to herself and listening to her needs above everything else has brought her true joy.
Kendall Jenner is an international supermodel, businesswoman, and star on The Kardashians. She loves to improve herself in any way possible, to the extent that she calls it a passion. Whether mentally or physically, Jenner is constantly finding ways to become better.
Jenner was the organized child in her family. She loved to keep a schedule and to have something to do. Unlike her famous sister Kylie, she preferred spending her weekends by herself rather than in the company of friends.
Introverted by nature, she liked to be alone most of the time. So when the opportunity arose for her first job as a dog walker, Jenner couldn’t have been happier. Finally, she was getting to do something she enjoyed and be around dogs at the same time.
Jenner loves animals. She grew up around horses, and owns one to this day. She finds great joy in being alone and caring for her horses.
Over the years, the supermodel became more social. She is now living a life that involves being around people all day long. However, she admitted to Jay Shetty that she continues her old habits after returning home at the end of a long day. She enjoys journaling, relaxing by herself, or spending time with her horses.
Jenner told Jay Shetty that she is proud of where she is now. However, it took a lot of hard work and determination to achieve the status she enjoys today. She started this journey when she was 14, and her decision was unyielding.
Yet the work Jenner truly takes pride in is her self-improvement. She enjoyed her job so much that she took on more and more projects, to the point where it made her unhappy. As a result, she had to learn to set boundaries when she was around 23 years old.
Jenner shared with Jay Shetty that she learned to prioritize herself, her happiness, and her well-being. “It has done wonders for me. I feel like I can show up better for myself. And I can show up a better person for the people that get to be around me that day,” she added.
To the supermodel, a healthy balance is vital. So she decided to say no to projects that were too much to handle to focus on staying happy. Now, she enjoys her work as much as ever, but it doesn’t overwhelm her anymore.
Don’t Lose Yourself
The modeling industry is very competitive, and Kendall Jenner is currently one of the top supermodels in demand. Considering this, Jay Shetty admires her courage to turn down offers so she can prioritize her mental health and happiness.
Jenner admitted that she had people advise her to keep going and not reject any projects that came her way. However, it was important to her to feel good. She believed if she were overwhelmed, she wouldn’t be able to give her best. And her giving her best and being okay would also benefit everyone around her.
Return to Happy Habits
Jay Shetty observed that in the last few years, more public figures have taken a step back to prioritize their mental health over their work. Kendall Jenner also took on fewer projects to reconnect to her true self.
Initially, this was just her way to stop feeling overwhelmed. But in time, she managed to do the small things that brought her joy, such as attending friends’ birthday parties. This was something that her schedule wouldn’t have allowed her to do before.
The COVID-19 pandemic hit at the same time Jenner decided to take a step back. Because of this, she had even more time to remember what made her truly happy and do more of it. This is how she ended up getting the horse that she has now. She always loved animals, especially horses, so getting to ride her beloved equine increased her well-being considerably.
Happiness As A Core Belief
“If your happiness depends on the actions of others, you’re at the mercy of things that you can’t control,” Jenner told Jay Shetty.
She believes finding happiness within ourselves in today’s world is challenging. Social media has a high impact, especially on younger generations. However, sticking to your own version of joy takes a strong will.
Jenner defines her state of happiness as her “higher goddess” or her “higher self.” She decided to stick to her joy and not let anyone affect it. In this way, she remains true to herself.
While pursuing her happiness, Jenner learned to be kind to herself. She practices meditation and uses affirmations to reassure and remind herself of her strengths and qualities.
It is uncomfortable to hear untrue words about yourself, even for a regular person. Being a public figure is especially hard because a lot of rumors tend to go around. But Jenner knows that at the end of the day, those spreading gossip barely know who she is inside.
So what the supermodel does is remind herself who she truly is. To Jenner, it is essential that those who matter to her, family and close friends, know and understand her well.
It’s All About Perception
Jay Shetty shared with Jenner an exercise that he does with his clients. They go for a walk, and on the way, he asks them to describe a leaf they see on the floor. After they finish, they may pick it up.
More often than not, their description of the leaf based on what they saw doesn’t match all the color, texture, and consistency of the leaf. This way, they learn to understand they base their judgments only on the part they saw.
Today’s world is exposed to an immense volume of online information. However, the pictures we see don’t always correspond to reality. We form opinions about others based on a tiny percentage of who they are because it is impossible to know everything about everybody.
Moreover, we try to become who we think others want us to be. We present ourselves in ways that are accepted and liked by the communities we are part of.
Jay Shetty quoted Charles Horton Cooley in saying, “I’m not what I think I am. I’m not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.” Written around 1890, his words remain valid today. We constantly look for external validation and forget to stay true to ourselves.
Relationship With Friends And Family
Jenner shared with Jay Shetty that honesty and communication are core principles in her relationships. As a result, she gets along well with her family. However, she sometimes needs a break for a few minutes to get grounded in the middle of an event.
Jenner’s tribute to the late designer Virgil Abloh has been widely spread on social media channels. She remembers him as a kind and helpful person who inspired her. Grieving a dear friend was a challenging period in the supermodel’s life.
Kendall Jenner shared with Jay Shetty how her purpose has evolved. Though she was initially eager to work and build a career, she is now focusing more on herself.
The supermodel is excited to get older and learn more about herself and the path she wants to follow. She strongly believes there is a reason we live our lives in this form.
Tuning in to her “higher goddess,” a great version of herself, is currently Jenner’s primary purpose. She wants to spread love, as she told Jay Shetty.
Turn the Negative into Positive
Jay Shetty shared that we’ve become attuned to the negative in the world and in ourselves. When we look in the mirror, it is easier to spot our flaws instead of our qualities.
Moreover, we find it hard to accept compliments or even write something good about ourselves.
Inner Child Work
Jenner admitted to Jay Shetty that she works with her therapist on healing her inner child. As an exercise, she found a picture of herself as a small child and pasted it onto her mirror.
It is so easy to judge and be harsh on ourselves. But when the person we say these things to stares back at us from the corner of the mirror, our attitude changes. To Jenner, this was a significant shift. She looked into the eyes of the child in the picture and remembered that everything she was telling herself, she was telling to that kid.
Remembering your inner child and having a picture of them in front of your eyes is a powerful tool. It can remind you where you came from and to be kind to yourself, the same way you show kindness to others.
We’re All the Same
At the end of the day, Jay Shetty concluded, we are all humans. It is, therefore, essential to remember that, despite our social differences, we all experience the same emotions and share the same human instincts.
No matter how wealthy or famous someone is, they face daily challenges. This is because they all live a “human experience,” as Jenner told Jay Shetty.
We must be kinder to each other and mindful of these similarities in a world where differences separate people.
The Change Starts from Within
Jay Shetty shared how his shift in his relationship with himself helped him become a better person. “I found that the day I stopped judging myself, I stopped judging others because it changed how I saw humanity.”
More From Jay Shetty
Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode on “Kendall Jenner ON Setting Boundaries to Increase Happiness & Healing Your Inner Child” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.