Jay Shetty & Tom Hanks ON How to Live a Balanced and Fulfilled Life

What makes life truly meaningful?

In this On Purpose episode, Jay Shetty sits down with Hollywood icon Tom Hanks, the two-time Academy Award-winning actor behind films like Forrest Gump, Cast Away, and Toy Story.

Known for his warmth and relatability, Hanks reflects on his unconventional childhood, frequent relocations, and the lessons in adaptability and letting go which shaped his journey.

Discussing Hank's latest movie, Here, they explore the significance of places, the wisdom of past generations, and the role of luck in our lives. Hanks emphasizes the importance of collaboration, curiosity, and finding joy in the process as essential to success.

Moving Around

Growing up, Tom Hanks had lived in ten homes by the age of ten. He told Jay Shetty that having to start over so many times made him adaptable and comfortable with change. It also taught him emotional independence and the ability to let go without longing for the past. Now, he feels most at home with his immediate family, especially in moments of shared laughter or navigating life’s absurdities.

Hanks acknowledged both the strengths and the challenges of detachment: while it allows him to easily manage difficult people and situations, it can also bring about feelings of isolation. Therefore, to him, it is important to balance independence with connection.

Balancing Detachment and Connection

While moving from place to place growing up, Hanks managed to keep a balance between staying unattached to material things and maintaining relationships with others. He explains to Jay Shetty that he was able to do so because he could recognize opportunities and also found his lifelong passion - acting. Living temporarily in one place, Hanks learned to quickly adapt to new social settings, which shaped his collaborative side.

The actor opened up to Jay Shetty about how discovering theater in high school completely changed his view of purpose; it offered him a creative discipline that mirrored his childhood imagination during long bus rides. His passion for acting remained unchanged throughout his life, and it fueled his career and joy in collaboration.

Hanks sees "the hang" (professional connections and friendships) as a vital part of life. He finds purpose in storytelling, collaboration, and embracing life's nuances, balancing independence with meaningful relationships and shared experiences.

Trusting the Journey

Tom Hanks and Jay Shetty discussed the concept of luck, faith, and experience in shaping life. The actor believes that while luck often depends on being in the right place at the right time, it also requires the courage to embrace uncertainty and step into the unknown. He recalls how his unconventional upbringing taught him to accept that outcomes, whether good or bad, are part of the journey.

Hanks maintains a sense of detachment and trust in life’s flow through age, wisdom, and strength in the face of challenges. He shared with Jay Shetty that a key moment that shaped his view on life was when a guide at a Japanese temple said to him: “I will never know all I need to know.” Moreover, he firmly believes that everything is fleeting and that “this too shall pass,” triumphs and struggles alike.

Sharing Multi-Generational Wisdom

Jay Shetty and Tom Hanks discussed the significance of intergenerational relationships and shared life lessons. Jay highlighted the wisdom gained from connecting with people of different ages, noting his own inspiration from spending time with older mentors and friends. Hanks also noted how interactions across generations, such as his children being raised alongside their Greek grandparents, enhance understanding and develop lifelong skills through consistent engagement.

The actor opened up to Jay Shetty about his father's lack of patience in teaching him practical skills; luckily, his father-in-law has an impressive ability to impart valuable lessons through storytelling. Whether in traditional settings or through mentors, family dynamics and generational exchanges offer unique insights that shape character and stability.

Jay Shetty highlights how spending time with people from different age groups promotes personal growth and perspective. He reflects on unforgettable moments shared with a couple in their 70s, gaining insights from individuals with greater life experience. In earlier times, this was a daily occurrence and a fundamental aspect of communities, but today it happens less and less. So-called third places, such as religious institutions or communal meeting places, have mostly vanished, and the possibility of such encounters has greatly diminished.

Reflecting on Parenting

When it comes to being a father, Tom Hanks admitted to Jay Shetty to making parenting mistakes but noted the lasting value of shared laughter and life lessons. Each of his children taught him unforgettable lessons, particularly their curiosity and self-sufficiency, which inspired him to value presence and explore his own passions.

The actor opens up to Jay Shetty about his childhood, shaped by his parents' separation and the independence it forced upon him. He describes how being the youngest sibling with minimal supervision allowed him to grow comfortable with solitude, which was both liberating and isolating. Conversely, Jay was the eldest child, and his parents' academic expectations of him were high.

Family roles and generational expectations shape our personality and development. Hanks and Jay agree that independence and resilience gained from these experiences can later become a source of strength, but also recognize the importance of fostering connection and understanding in parent-child relationships to nurture curiosity, emotional intelligence, and growth.

Here – Living in the Present

Tom Hank's newest movie, Here, explores the deep emotional connection to places and the moments that occur within them. The main idea is the concept of “presence,” emphasizing how life’s most meaningful events are tied to specific locations, often without realizing their historical significance at the time. The film's distinctive idea and production pushed the cast and crew to contemplate their own experiences, creating an introspective atmosphere throughout.

Hanks praised his collaborators, director Robert Zemeckis and writer Eric Roth, for their innovative storytelling and cinematic techniques. The use of digital de-aging technology in the film allowed Hanks to embody different ages, which was both a creative opportunity and a physical challenge. For the actor it was fun to change body posture and body movements, to portray different ages convincingly.

Choosing Roles That Resonate

Just as in the movie Here, Hanks shares with Jay Shetty how his focus on presence has evolved, emphasizing the importance of letting go of self-consciousness to perform authentically. He believes that being oblivious to perfectionism and fully immersing yourself in the moment is essential to being creative and able to collaborate successfully.

Discussing his career, Tom Hanks admitted that he chose roles selectively, mainly shaped by curiosity and alignment with a film’s themes. He is thankful for the collaborators who challenged him and who contributed to a richer artistic experience. Yet despite his many successes, Hanks openly shares with Jay Shetty how compromises in earlier roles taught him the importance of saying no when a project doesn't resonate.

Here explores life’s defining moments tied to specific places. Hanks explains how the movie's unique storytelling and production process struck a chord with his own life experiences. He reminisces about times of family togetherness, such as watching television with his loved ones, providing comfort and a feeling of unity during difficult periods. He also reflects on how ordinary moments have the power to form our feelings of home and connection.

Fascination with Outer Space and World Wars

Tom Hanks shares with Jay Shetty his fascination with space exploration and the moon. He is willing to participate in a lunar orbit mission if given the opportunity. His interest in space stems from growing up during the space race when it encompassed various disciplines like politics, physics, and art; the imagery of being alone in space resonated with his childhood experiences of solitude.

Another topic of interest for Tom Hanks is World War II - he contemplates how the war shaped the lives of those in his parents’ generation. The actor observes that people divided their life stories into “before the war,” “during the war,” and “after the war,” with each phase carrying distinct narratives; he views this generational storytelling as captivating. Moreover, the actor notes that World War II, unlike many modern conflicts, ended definitively.

Supportive and Loving Family

Tom Hanks describes to Jay Shetty meeting his wife Rita Wilson as a moment of “divine providence,” like discovering something he hadn’t realized was possible - a carefree and deeply fulfilling partnership. The actor shared how the exchange of humor and mutual support continues to enrich their relationship. To Hanks, the joy and authenticity of this bond remain irreplaceable.

Discussing his 2020 acceptance speech, Hanks recalls being overcome with emotion when acknowledging his family. He told Jay Shetty that looking at his wife and children in the audience, he felt a flood of memories and gratitude, marveling at the surreal journey of their lives together. He is very grateful for the support and love that ground him.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode on “Tom Hanks ON #1 Theory Tom Uses in Order to Live a Balanced and Fulfilled Life” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.