Jay Shetty & Jordan Peterson ON 5 Ways to Shift Envy into Growth

Do you ever feel a twinge of envy, wondering why certain opportunities seem out of reach? More importantly, how can you turn those feelings into a catalyst for growth and action?

In this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty interviews Dr. Jordan B. Peterson, a renowned psychologist, educator, and bestselling author. They explore themes from Peterson’s upcoming book, We Who Wrestle with God, which examines the timeless wisdom of Old Testament stories and their relevance to integrity, truth, and personal transformation. The discussion also covers the dangers of short-sighted decisions, the lure of “false adventures,” and the significance of aligning our daily actions with our long-term purpose.

The Dangers of Online Anonymity

Dr. Peterson discusses with Jay Shetty the overwhelming toxicity in our environments, at home, at work, or online. He believes that modern communication technologies are flawed - Twitter and Facebook often amplify negative behaviors due to the lack of evolved social mechanisms in digital spaces.

The digital environment exposes us to all types of "bad actors," as the psychologist calls them. Moreover, algorithmic promotion of emotionally provocative content allows exploitative individuals to dominate the discourse, including narcissists, Machiavellians, or psychopaths. These individuals thrive on chaos, drawing attention in ways that destabilize societies and psyches.

Online Paywall to Curb Online Manipulation

Dr. Jordan Peterson suggests separating anonymous and verified accounts on social media to reduce harmful interactions. Verified users should have their comments prioritized, while anonymous contributions could be hidden in a secondary space, accessible only by choice. He believes that this approach would deter trolls, as most anonymous users are not whistleblowers but rather exploitative individuals.

Free platforms often exploit users' attention and data, allowing manipulators to dominate. Therefore, Dr. Peterson shares with Jay Shetty his suggestion to introduce a cost barrier, such as a payment requirement, which could further dissuade bad actors. Nonetheless, he is also aware of the challenges faced by social media operators like Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk, as manipulators excel at exploiting both traditional and modern communication channels

Don’t Get Fooled by Bad Actors

The psychologist clarifies to Jay Shetty that cluster B personality disorders, often present in the online world, are difficult to address due to their resistance to therapy. These persons rarely seek therapy voluntarily and often manipulate situations to their advantage. While some behaviors may lessen with age, rehabilitation remains unlikely. So, to protect yourself from such toxic individuals, it is essential to understand that many repeat offenders are often malevolent and not necessarily redeemable.

Moreover, Dr. Jordan Peterson explains to Jay Shetty how dark tetrad traits (narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and sadism) make certain men deceptively appealing, particularly to younger, naive women. They mimic confidence and competence, traits typically associated with genuinely capable men, therefore making it more difficult to distinguish them from genuine people. 

Predatory psychopaths also exploit empathy by portraying themselves as victims, a tactic that can manipulate even trained professionals. Robert Hare’s research shows how convincing these individuals can be as they study their targets to exploit weaknesses.¹‍

Dating apps and modern dynamics favor manipulative men, who often lack strong social connections. So, Dr. Peterson warns of the unintended consequences of the sexual revolution, where short-term mating strategies (associated with psychopathy) are more prevalent. Hormonal birth control also shifts women’s preferences, complicating social and biological patterns. He stresses the profound harm caused by malevolent individuals in both real life and online, whose actions can leave lasting psychological trauma.

Seeking Personal Development Through Adventure

People often form their identities subconsciously through the groups they join and leave without actively reflecting on the process. Dr. Peterson explains to Jay Shetty that identity is often revealed through the stories we tell about ourselves. These stories tend to bring our underlying identity to the surface, matching how we see ourselves with actual circumstances. Dreams also reveal implicit aspects of our identity that can be consciously interpreted over time, resulting in more integrity and self-awareness.

As an example, Dr. Peterson shares with Jay Shetty the story of Abraham as a template for individual development. Abraham's journey, driven by the "voice of adventure," entails sacrifice and transformation. Leaving his comfort zone led to personal development, acknowledgment, and lasting contributions to society. Each step of Abraham's journey is defined by sacrifices, such as letting go of old habits or belongings, as growth demands shedding elements that hinder progress.

Referencing religious texts like the Bhagavad Gita, Dr. Jordan Peterson and Jay Shetty find parallels in their emphasis on aiming for higher purposes. The imagery of archery highlights this journey: successfully hitting the target symbolizes striving for divine alignment. These tales demonstrate how timeless narratives offer a deep understanding of personal development, ethics, and the pursuit of a meaningful life.

Finding Purpose

Jay Shetty elaborates on the Bhagavad Gita story, where Arjun, overwhelmed by doubt, turns to divine guidance. Dr. Peterson links self-awareness to discomfort and unhappiness. He explains that a narrow focus on yourself can lead to a lack of direction and anxious feelings. The remedy is aiming higher - seeking meaningful goals beyond personal interests.

Dr. Peterson highlights to Jay Shetty the critical role attention plays in discovering our sense of purpose. He refers to ancient symbols, such as Horus from Egyptian mythology and Marduk from Mesopotamian lore, where seeing meant paying attention to life's subtleties. He suggests tracking your emotions and activities to identify patterns that bring you joy and increase your well-being.

The Pitfall of False Adventures

The psychologist compares the "call to adventure" to subtle nudges that drive individuals toward meaningful personal development. Based on biblical and literary sources, he believes that these calls often disguise themselves as problems or discomfort, and they push us to accept responsibility. Yet, without true adventure, people may resort to destructive or "false adventures." To find your path, Dr. Peterson advised the listeners to understand their temperament and conscience.

Avoiding false adventures requires listening to your conscience, which often surfaces as discomfort after indulging in short-term, hedonistic pursuits. Dr. Peterson explains to Jay Shetty that morality is built on actions that can be voluntarily repeated over time, fostering mutual benefit and trust. He discusses how fair play enhances reputations, encouraging others to repeat collaborating with you.

Taking an Inward Look

Others' envy is similar to the biblical story of Cain and Abel - Cain grows bitter and jealous when Abel succeeds by offering the right sacrifices and staying focused. Instead of learning from his own mistakes, Cain’s anger leads to harmful actions, showing how unchecked envy and misguided goals can damage entire societies. The story emphasizes the importance of aiming upward with courage, faith, and integrity to benefit yourself and others, countering the corrosive effects of envy and bitterness.

Dr. Jordan Peterson suggests combating envy by practicing gratitude and humility:

• Gratitude involves recognizing the abundance of unnoticed blessings in life, even during challenges.
• Humility requires internalizing failure as an opportunity for self-improvement rather than blaming external forces.

He suggests asking yourself, “How am I insufficient?” to transform your envy into motivation for growth. Addressing personal insufficiencies provides a lifelong, meaningful pursuit and opens up opportunities for self-improvement.

Moreover, the psychologist highlighted to Jay Shetty the importance of overcoming hedonistic tendencies, prioritizing short-term gratification at the expense of long-term well-being. For parents, he recommends socializing children to regulate desires; they need to learn to deal with frustration and to see the bigger picture for themselves and their community instead of seeking immediate pleasure.

Dr. Peterson highlights that true success should be sustainable and repeated over time. He explains to Jay Shetty that when we focus on helping each other and working together by choice, we find lasting satisfaction—unlike selfish approaches that harm others. By succeeding without hurting anyone, we act ethically and more effectively since our world offers many opportunities to collaborate rather than compete. 

The Importance of Clear Communication

Jay Shetty notes that pride often manifests subtly, such as rigidly believing your views are superior. Dr. Jordan Peterson describes how this behavior can arise from the need to obtain status: winning arguments may feel validating. Still, it does not ensure correctness, as intelligence can outmaneuver wisdom.

In relationships, actively listening and helping others express their thoughts promotes understanding. Additionally, collaboratively identifying problems often yields better solutions and prevents superficial power struggles. He cautions against harsh self-criticism and encourages a balanced approach to personal correction. By practicing clear communication (even if it feels awkward at first), you can strengthen relationships, leading to greater mutual understanding and cultivating personal growth over time.

Encouraging the Formation of an Ethical Society

Jay Shetty mentions Daniel Coyle’s book The Culture Code, where feedback combines high standards with constructive guidance. Dr. Jordan Peterson links this idea to biblical stories, showing how it balances ambitious goals with genuine support. He compares it to a caring father figure who encourages potential, allows mistakes, and steers growth. True compassion, he argues, pairs thoughtful judgment with kindness and avoids the kind of leniency that prevents real maturity.

Dr. Jordan Peterson is optimistic about humanity’s future, noting reduced poverty and improved communication tools. He believes ethical behavior is crucial for social success, pointing to places like Japan where trust and honesty foster prosperity and champion free exchange and success that benefits everyone.

The psychologist explains to Jay Shetty that Peterson Academy aims to promote responsibility, ethical living, and accessible education by blending classic humanities with modern technology. It offers low-cost, global education without the burden of debt, and AI-driven translation broadens its global reach. A writing app promotes critical thinking and empowers learners. Dr. Peterson sees these efforts as part of a larger ethical revolution that merges scientific progress with enduring moral principles. He remains hopeful about humanity’s potential for growth through shared learning and ethical development.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode “Jordan Peterson ON How to Shift Envy into Growth How to Recognize and Pursue Your True Calling” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.

¹Hare, Robert D. “This Charming Psychopath.” Web log. Psychology Today (blog), January 1, 1994. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/articles/199401/charming-psychopath.