Sidharth Malhotra & Jay Shetty ON The Stigma Around Mental Health

Sidharth Malhotra grew up in a middle-class Punjabi household in New Delhi. After breaking into the modeling world at 18, he started a career as a Bollywood Actor and was nominated for awards for his performance in his first major file, Student of the Year. Today, he is an incredible actor and a fashion guru who has worked with world-renowned designers and has appeared in Redbook, Gladrags, and Men’s Health.

Malhotra recently sat down with Jay Shetty to share his experiences, viewpoints, and insights regarding mental health in a personal and honest way. The struggle with anxiety and mental health issues often leaves people feeling alone and isolated. If you or someone you know is going through a challenging time, it is essential to know that you are not alone, and it is okay not to be okay all the time.

The Stigma Surrounding Mental Health

In the South Asian community, Malhotra shares that mental health discussions are not common. TheSouth Asian culture holds themselves and others to a high expectation to have it all together and live a perfect life, and the pressure to have a perfect life begins at birth. “As soon as a child is born, everything has to go in the direction of either making a lot of money or getting married,” Malhotra explains to Jay Shetty. “Whether you're a man or a woman, you have no view or other space to be weak. You have no room to say that you are not feeling like being out and about that day. The expectation is that you go to school, then college. Then you get a job and make money, or you get married if you are a woman.”

The lack of communication, especially among men, is something that Malhotra attributes to his culture’s stigma surrounding mental health. If you are not feeling well or are stressed about something, you don’t talk about it. It is considered a sign of weakness to talk about how you are feeling. When Malhotra went to Bombay in his mid-twenties, he called home to speak with family on a regular basis. The conversation always ended on a simple but courteous note with bye. After a year, he missed his family and ended one phone conversation with, “Okay, love you, bye.” He was met with silence. On his next trip home to Delhi, he sat down with his father and discussed why they did not say “I love you” to each other.

“I realized that culturally we lack a sense of training,” Malhotra explains to Jay Shetty. “Nobody taught us when we were growing up to talk about our issues because it is considered weak, which is entirely wrong. As soon as I got out, I realized what is real in life, and it hit me.”

Today, people talk far more openly about mental health, and the conversation surrounding mental health is changing for the better. It is no longer taboo to discuss depression and anxiety. Both Malhotra and Jay Shetty agree that being in the public eye is one of the most volatile jobs globally. There are so many ups and downs. It is never constant, and public scrutiny follows your every move. “I didn't have anybody to explain that while growing up,” Malhotra shares with Jay Shetty. “We didn't have social media. I wish I had books that I could gain that knowledge from or YouTube.”

Today, Malhotra feels more at ease talking about anxiety and believes that there is so much education needed to handle anxiety. “It happens to everyone,” Malhotra tells Jay Shetty. “I don’t think anyone can say they have never felt anxious or low. They're just lying to themselves and others. They're just pretending, and it's sad because they feel they can't talk to other people. I think that is one thing that needs to change.”

You’re Not Alone

Trying to fit the mold that society puts forth can be exhausting and feel claustrophobic. Too many people try to keep up with a persona and become overwhelmed. Malhotra tells Jay Shetty that it has taken him a long time to realize that it is okay not to be in a great mood all the time. “I'm not saying be outright rude,” Malhotra tells Jay Shetty. “But I need to take that half an hour and contemplate before I go and meet people, or take time when I'm shooting. I utilize it when I have to deal with something that's not gone my way.”

Being an actor means dealing with failure. There is rarely a time in an actor’s lifetime that they don’t deal with a failure. Everyone has phases of success and failure. “Everyone has their days,” Malhotra explains to Jay Shetty. “Failure is never the end of the world. I don't think that one act on one particular day will define the rest of their lives. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves, and we need to start teaching our kids to deal with their emotions and talk about things as opposed to always telling them not to talk about it.”

Jay Shetty agrees. There’s no one in the world who doesn’t experience anxiety or have a low day. No matter the amount of money, fame, and possessions you have or don’t have, it doesn't change that human emotion. “I think sometimes we're programmed to believe that when we get to that next stage - when I get that award, when I get that job, when I get that promotion - then somehow it will disappear, but that's not true. ” Jay Shetty shares with Malhotra. “Everyone at all stages in their career or relationships will experience this. Therefore, we have to get more comfortable talking about it and experiencing it, because it's not going to disappear. It is not going to go away. It's okay that not every day is going to be the best day of your life.”

Pursuing your Purpose

Do you know your real purpose? Living your purpose has three elements to it, passion, strength, and compassion. If you want to live an effective, purposeful life, you need to find something that is the synergy among them.When you chase your passion, you have to ask yourself if you are also interested in pursuing your skills and strengths that are needed to make your passion a reality. Are you willing to work and train and develop and go through those tough times with no money and less support and stability? You have to be okay with that in your mind first before you experience it. If you are not willing to put in that work, then Jay Shetty suggests choosing to do something else. “What I would suggest to young people is that now is the time to invest in your mental health,” Jay Shetty explains to Malhotra. “Don't wait until something goes wrong or something bad happens in your family or your life before you start. Ask yourself right now whether you’re taking care of your mental health. Are you taking care of your physical health? Are you allowing yourself to be in a position to flourish? Or are you putting yourself in a vulnerable position where your mental health can be affected? Chasing your passion and taking care of your mental health go hand in hand, and you're more likely to last the test of time when you do both.”

Malhotra agrees with Jay Shetty and adds that you need to put in the time to work on your passion and goals. You cannot sit around and wait for that big break. Work for what you want, and while you work, don’t become hyper focused on one thing. That allows anxiety to build and robs you of time you could spend on reaching your goals and pursuing your passion. Shetty explains that he has trained his mind to recognize excitement when he does something new, like a book launch, an interview, or a meeting. It is okay to be nervous in new situations, but there can also be an element of excitement intertwined with the anxious emotion.

Four Habits of T.I.M.E.

Jay Shetty recommends everyone try four simple habits each day. Think of it as T.I.M.E to start your day and keep yourself centered.

 
1. Thankfulness - When you have gratitude in your life, it feels incredible to thank and acknowledge people.
 
2. Inspiration - You need to feed yourself with inspiration every day. It can be a book, a podcast, a conversation, prayer, or quote - anything that you love that inspires you.
 
3. Meditation - Take some time to get yourself centered
 
4. Exercise - Exercise is chemically proven to boost your mood. Don’t think of it as something you do just for your body. Exercise is a mood booster as well.

The benefits of applying T.I.M.E to your life will leave you looking and feeling your best.

Knowing you are not alone in your mental health journey inspires others. Hearing that anxiety affects everyone at some point in their lives opens communication lines for those experiencing it at any given time. Try to establish healthy habits to help combat mental health issues. Remember to take the T.I.M.E to work on you. Being honest and open about your struggles will help strip away the stigma surrounding mental health, freeing the way for others to do the same.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode with Sidharth Malhotra on “Stripping Away the Stigma Surrounding Mental Health” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.