Jay Shetty interviews Khloe Kardashian on the importance of being kind and allowing yourself time to heal.
How would the world change if everyone was just 5 percent kinder?
That’s the question a recent podcast guest On Purpose With Jay Shetty, keeps at the top of her mind at all times.
Jay Shetty recently had the opportunity to sit down with star of the shows Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Revenge Body, Khloe Kardashian.
Her positive and purpose-filled outlook on life is so inspiring. In this blog article, Jay Shetty shares his takeaways from this episode of On Purpose With Jay Shetty.
Being Five Percent Kinder Makes a Difference
Information is available at the swipe of a finger all day, every day. Social media makes communication easy. Kardashian believes it’s TOO easy for people to fall into negativity and bullying online.
“The world feels really heavy and depressing. If you read statistics from mental health, bullying and violence is escalated. I think we're too exposed to too many avenues of people and too many ways for people to connect with us,” said Kardashian.
It’s easy to want to strike back when we’re hit with criticism or negativity online. Instead of being combative back, Kardashian urges people to look deeper at what’s behind the negative actions and words.
“What if we were a little more self aware when someone is mean or negative to us?” she asked. “Instead of us being combative back, what if we asked, ‘Why are you hurting?’”
She encourages everyone to be just 5 percent kinder by doing small daily acts of kindness, like opening a door or smiling at someone.
Jay Shetty agrees.
“We think being kind means these big gestures or having to save the world or do something really colossal that's big and expensive, said Jay Shetty. “We underestimate how much just a smile, a kind word, or thinking of someone can change someone's day. I love those simple things because those are things anyone can do things everyone can appreciate.”
This is something Shetty admits he hasn’t always been great at. He recalled a time when he made a habit of climbing into rideshares while on the phone without even greeting the driver.
That changed when one day when Shetty climbed into a car and the driver refused to start driving until they’d greeted each other.
“That really stuck with me,” Jay Shetty said, “And since then I’ve always made a point to connect with a smile and a hello.”
Use Social Media Kindly
Although she loves to write, Kardashian has changed the way she communicate on social media in the past few years.
For one thing, she doesn’t post her own writing publicly on her social platforms as much as she used to. Her intention was to simply write what was meaningful to her, but she noticed people had a tendency to tear it apart and make it about themselves.
“I'm still figuring out my life,” admits Kardashian. “We all are, we're still just human beings and we're going to make mistakes and live our lives. But I'm okay with sharing my failures because I'm secure enough in just me being a person. I'm still figuring it out.”
It hasn’t stopped her from posting positivity and encouragement.
“I started going on strangers’ pages and commenting kind things, like, ‘Oh my gosh, I love your freckles!’ The positive feedback it sparked was crazy,” Kardashian explained. “That just being kind gets so much positive feedback should be normal.”
“It’s kind of like what you’ve done with positivity, Jay Shetty,” she said. “We’re a lot alike in that way.”
Journaling Puts Things In Perspective
Khloe Kardashian is a great communicator, and not just with other people. She prioritizes communicating with herself, and we share a common passion for journaling.
“I write a lot, mainly for myself,” said Kardashian. “I love it. I did it a lot when I was going through my divorce, and it was so therapeutic for me. Writing is like a release, and when you write something, it's out of your system.”
Kardashian believes everyone has a right to process their experiences and feelings without judgement. Journaling is a great way to do that, and it’s a great way to gain new perspective.
“I think journaling is so good, especially when it's private,” she said. “For me, personally, it's something I get to write down and I don't feel judged by others. I'm allowed to criticize myself though because it's my journey. I think it's healthy, and even if you read it back and you just laugh at yourself, I think that's a great form of therapy.”
Jay Shetty is also a big proponent of journaling.
“Journaling is such a great practice,” Shetty said. “Sometimes you read your feelings back to yourself and you cry. And sometimes you read your feelings back to yourself and you laugh.”
Prayer is a Non-Negotiable
Kardashian also puts a lot of importance on the conversations she has in prayer. For the last four years, she’s been waking up early every day and spending an hour in gratitude and prayer.
“I do believe everybody should have faith in something,” Kardashian stated. “It centers us. It holds us accountable for our actions. I wake up early every morning intentionally so I can open my windows, look outside, and pray.”
What does she pray for? She always starts with gratitude. Starting the day with gratitude is something I absolutely love as well. It helps start the day in a positive frame of mind. Today, Kardashian says prayer has become one of the non-negotiables in her life.
“Yes, I have to wake up earlier, but it changes the momentum of my day,” she said. “So I wake up earlier and make it an effort. You make time for the things you want to do, and that's something I want to do. I love it.”
Jay Shetty encourages listeners to take time to pray, meditate, or even just ask themselves the important questions.
“I think the most important meeting we have is with ourselves,” Shetty said.
She Chooses Healing Over Distractions
Kardashian has gone through a divorce and a public breakup in recent years. Instead of focusing on the negative or distracting herself with new relationships or work, she chooses to allow herself time to heal.
“In my family, we're good at moving on,” Kardashian said. “We have very big, forgiving hearts. We just move on, but we don't really talk about things that happened. I don't really know if that's healthy or not. Something I'm just focusing on is making sure I'm healed from that and try to understand it as much as I can.”
“They say letting the go is hard, but holding on is harder,” agreed Jay Shetty. “Sometimes that's the only choice we have in these tough situations.”
Today, Kardashian is proud of herself for navigating challenges without playing the victim or falling into distractions. She and her daughter’s father have a good co-parenting relationship, and she highly values him for his healthy role in their daughter’s life.
“We're all fine, and I want to show my daughter that it's okay,” said Kardashian. “I always want True to be surrounded by love. I know it's not realistic every day, but as much as I can control it, I feel like it's my mama bear job to control it.”
She refuses to play the blame game or focus on the negatives. Jay Shetty admires that a great deal. He’s impressed with how Kardashian consciously chooses to put her energy towards healing, kindness, and positivity.
“I feel like sometimes we're really irresponsible with our feelings,” said Kardashian. “We have to be responsible as adults, especially adults that are supposed to be guiding kids.”
Healing Doesn’t Have a Set Time Span
Even if healing has occurred, Kardashian believes it’s healthy to talk about it. Talking can be a form of healing and working through trauma, and no one else has the right to tell someone else how to do it.
“Everybody has a different lifespan of pain,” Kardashian explained. “I think everybody will deal with things in different ways. “What might be traumatizing to me might be nothing to you and vice versa. We can't invalidate people's feelings.”
Kardashian has no time for those who emotionally shame others for not being as far along on their healing journey. She does believe it’s important to not let yourself sit in pain for too long.
“Some people are negative,” said Kardashian. “They have a dark cloud over them because they've created that dark cloud. Let's start working through it. Let's not sit in the beginning stages of whatever's holding you back.”
“I genuinely believe that if we keep shooting for the lowest common denominator with people, then they'll settle for that,” said Jay Shetty. “Let's make people aspire for the high end.”
Hear more by Jay Shetty
Kardashian and Shetty discussed more throughout the episode, including what her other non-negotiables are and how how episodes of her show Revenge Body never end up being just about revenge. You can listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode with Khloe Kardashian now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like hers, check out my website at jayshetty.me.