Jay Shetty ON 11 Lessons Learned This Year

This On Purpose episode marks Jay Shetty's birthday. He treats his anniversary as a reflection, celebration, and reconnection to his purpose and essence. Therefore, Jay wanted to share his lessons, mistakes, and challenges over the previous year with the listeners.

1. The People in Your Life

Jay Shetty's first lesson is about the significance of the people in your life. He emphasizes the importance of discerning whom to keep or let go. A shared past doesn't necessitate a shared future, he noted. 

Jay stresses the importance of being "conscious" and "present." Intuition plays a pivotal role in interpersonal connections; it allows you to determine almost instantly whether they resonate with someone. In the professional realm, Jay Shetty realized that, beyond skills or experience, he must align energetically with his team members. This alignment results in fruitful collaborations.

However, Jay Shetty observes that many often sideline their intuition, opting for hard facts and data. He encourages the listeners to trust their gut, focusing on those who uplift them and enhance their best qualities. 

Moreover, he advises not to be bound by past connections. While cherishing past relationships are important, Jay Shetty argues that you don't want to force them into the present if they no longer fit organically. Our closest five people influence us, so we must choose wisely the people we spend our time with. Reflecting on your aspirations and the person you wish to become should guide your choices in relationships and communities.

2. Self-Care

Jay addresses caring for your body and mind, the foundation for every endeavor. You can't pour from an empty cup, Jay explained. Just as a glass can't give more water than it holds, you can't genuinely offer support and energy to others if you are drained. By overcommitting and overpromising, you will not only under-deliver but also feel undervalued.

For Jay Shetty, true selflessness is rooted in self-care. To give qualitatively and quantitatively to others, you must be well-rested, nourished, exercised, and mentally centered. Jay cautions against merely offering "leftovers" to others, advocating for being present for yourself first. Jay believes that caring for yourself amplifies the quality of care for others.

To remember the key areas that need your attention, Jay Shetty presents the acronym MEDS: Meditation, Exercise, Diet, and Sleep. Rather than tackling all simultaneously, he suggests a sequential approach. A proper sleep routine can catalyze healthier eating habits. With adequate rest, you feel invigorated to exercise, promoting better sleep. Meditation introduces mental stillness into the mix.

3. Ask for Help

Jay Shetty stresses the need for emotional connection and support. It is vital to seek help and strength in vulnerability. Jay has often held back his emotions, trying to be a pillar of strength for others. Only recently did he learn the value of simply reaching out to chat or share his feelings. This process brought him closer to his friends, strengthening the mutual bond of trust and care.

There are many reasons why people hesitate to ask for help. There's an inherent fear that nobody will care, the belief that no one will come to your aid. This feeling diminishes as you nurture deeper connections, boosting your confidence in being supported when vulnerable. 

Moreover, people worry about appearing weak. Revealing vulnerabilities can, mistakenly, seem like a sign of incompetence. Sharing vulnerabilities with friends relieves personal burdens and encourages others to reach out, creating a cycle of mutual care.

A facade of perfection can deter people from checking in on you. Therefore, you must portray your true self to break this cycle, allowing others to connect genuinely. Another obstacle to seeking help is self-worth. Some people may not reach out because they feel undeserving of support or fear they won't act on advice given. Here, transparency is vital. Sharing reservations about following through or even digesting advice can clear misunderstandings.

4. Remember Your "Why"

Jay highlights the importance of humility and grounding yourself, especially when faced with personal success or admiration. It's easy to become engrossed in your success, losing sight of the initial passion and purpose. 

During his tour, Jay Shetty experienced an outpouring of love and appreciation from fans. Initially, he grappled with the idea that accepting this adoration might inflate his ego. However, he discerned a significant difference between absorbing genuine love, which nourishes the heart, and succumbing to ego-driven hype.

One of the issues many people face is difficulty accepting compliments without equating them with ego. Jay explains that, when complimented, he channels that praise towards gratitude. He mentally credits his mentors or teachers for imparting the skills recognized in the compliment. This internal act shifts the focus from ego to gratitude, reinforcing humility. It's a process of acknowledging growth while recognizing the contributions of those who facilitated that journey.

Jay Shetty emphasizes that life has its way of grounding those who become too engrossed in their hype. Life invariably humbles individuals who lose touch with their inherent humanity. The essence of the lesson lies in seeing and valuing humanity in oneself and others, ensuring one remains anchored irrespective of external adoration.

5. Everyone Has Haters

Jay Shetty underscores the inevitability of facing criticism and detractors, regardless of one's intentions or efforts. Detractors will always be ready to criticize, mock, or deride, no matter how well-intended or altruistic your endeavors. Although criticism can be constructive, helping you grow and learn, it's essential to discern the nature and intent of the feedback.

Jay Shetty suggests turning to trusted individuals who genuinely know and understand your character. Engaging with close friends and acquaintances can help validate or refute any criticism, ensuring a balanced perspective. Through this approach, you will also deepen existing close relationships to buffer against harsh external judgments.

As your reach or influence grows, so does the polarity of public opinion. It progresses from being appreciated mainly in the initial stages to eventually facing a more divided audience, with an almost equal split between admirers and detractors. It's essential to understand this division not as a matter of love or hate but as a difference between those who genuinely comprehend your essence and those who don't.

6. Level Up

Challenges inherently characterize life's journey; with each new level of success or achievement comes a unique set of problems. Jay Shetty debunks the misconception that success, fame, or wealth can eradicate all issues. While they might alleviate some challenges, they invariably introduce new ones. 

Instead of pursuing a utopian, problem-free existence, Jay Shetty suggests that the listeners shift their focus towards personal growth and skill acquisition. When you face challenges, immersing yourself in learning—through books, TED talks, podcasts, or courses—proves beneficial. Like in video games, as one level is conquered, another, often more challenging, awaits. 

You need to view this cyclical pattern not with trepidation but with an eagerness to develop and harness new skills and strengths. Jay Shetty believes  embracing this mindset ensures resilience and adaptability in life's ever-evolving challenges.

7. Care for Your Younger Self

As we grow older and undergo personal evolution, we sideline or undervalue the passions and dreams that fueled our younger days, considering them trivial or immature.

It is essential to recognize and honor the desires and dreams of our youth as we mature. According to Jay Shetty, people tend to dismiss these youthful aspirations as they age, even though they are integral to their identity. 

Jay reflects on a personal experience where he visited Old Trafford, Manchester United's stadium, a team he had adored since childhood. Another one was meeting iconic figures like Sir Alex Ferguson. While the evolved Jay might regard this as trivial, his younger self saw it as a momentous occasion. 

Our mature self downplays or even mocks the interests of our younger self, whether it's collecting sneakers or other hobbies. Jay Shetty notes that we might have needed more resources to pursue these interests earlier in life. Still, as adults, we sometimes sideline them, deeming them childish or insignificant. Jay believes it's vital to nurture these passions from the past, asserting that disregarding them can lead to bitterness and feelings of disconnection. 

Jay urges the listeners not to dismiss their youthful dreams entirely, highlighting the importance of honoring the present evolved self and the ideals of the past. For him, balancing between the developed and the childhood self is essential for a fulfilling life, ensuring that dreams, aspirations, and gifts from our younger days are not denied or forgotten.

8. Be Yourself

Jay Shetty advocates embracing your entirety. He highlights the importance of acknowledging and accepting every aspect of yourself. Instead of striving for perfection by suppressing certain parts, he believes in the beauty of contradictions and living in paradox. 

Drawing from his journey, Jay shares that he continuously celebrates and acknowledges the multidimensional nature of his own identity. He underscores the profound fulfillment when one can be fully authentic without sidelining or downplaying any part of one's character or experiences.

9. You Always Can

Jay Shetty talks about the misconception of needing to be perfect to offer help or value to others. He emphasizes that perfection is not a prerequisite for making a positive impact. He stresses the vast potential within each individual to transform lives, including their own. 

Jay notes that mastery of a subject often leads to humility and acknowledging much more to learn. Using examples like the AAA program and his entrepreneurial journey with Junie, a tea company, he illustrates that mentors at various stages of experience offer valuable insights. Whether you'rea year ahead or have decades of experience, everyone has wisdom to impart. 

Jay Shetty warns against believing you must be a finished product before helping others. He admits to occasionally battling impostor syndrome but highlights the importance of continual learning and connection. Everyone has something valuable to share, irrespective of their expertise level.

10. Make New Memories

Jay Shetty advocates for the need to move beyond nostalgia and to be receptive to fresh experiences, feelings, and connections. While cherishing memories is valuable, the act of continually forming new ones is what keeps us vibrant and youthful. 

Jay shares how he actively sought to make lasting memories during his travels. Instead of merely passing through cities on his tour, Jay endeavored to have unique experiences in each location, such as visiting art galleries, exploring historical sites, or simply taking walks. This approach enriched his travels, allowing him to form distinct memories even in places he'd visited multiple times. 

11. "Serve, serve, serve"

Jay Shetty believes in utilizing your talents and abilities to benefit others. Selflessness brings unforeseen opportunities and enriches life with deeper meaning and unforgettable memories. 

Jay's journey has been driven by a commitment to make a positive difference in the world. This passion to serve continuously fuels his motivation and aspiration to learn, grow, and give more. He hopes that his teachings resonate and inspire shifts in perspectives. Even if a single lesson impacts someone's thinking, he considers it a success.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode on “My Birthday Episode: 12 Lessons I've Learned in the Last 12 Months & Ways You Can Apply Them Into Your Life” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.