Jay Shetty & Idina Menzel ON How to Be Present Without Judgment

In this On Purpose episode, Jay Shetty welcomes Idina Menzel. Menzel is a singer, actress, songwriter, and Broadway sensation renowned for her role as Elphaba in Wicked. Menzel's voice also brought Elsa to life in Disney's Frozen, a billion-dollar success. In this episode, she discusses her latest venture, a children's book called Loud Mouse. 

Main Motivators

Despite a busy schedule and the challenges of jetlag, Menzel's primary driving force is her 13-year-old son, Walker. While her artistic soul and creativity are essential motivators, being a better mom and nurturing her relationships take precedence. As Menzel turned 50, her ambition evolved from the early days of hustling for success to finding a sense of security. Now, she focuses on her family and meaningful projects like her new children's book, Loud Mouse, which empowers kids to embrace their unique strengths.

Menzel's journey reflects her iconic roles as Elphaba and Elsa, characters who harness their power and serve as role models for children. Despite her impressive career, she still grapples with self-doubt and the challenge of taking up space, especially as a woman in the spotlight.

While the desperation of early career struggles has faded, Menzel maintains her ambition, driven by the desire to achieve more while cherishing the fulfillment of her dreams and her role as a mother. 

From Gigs to Broadway

Menzel shares with Jay Shetty her journey from performing at weddings and bar mitzvahs as a teenager to becoming a Broadway icon. Her early experiences as a wedding singer shaped her versatile musical skills, as she sang various genres and honed her improvisation talents.

Menzel's dream was always to make it on Broadway, and she achieved that goal through determination and persistence. She played a pivotal role in developing the hit musical Wicked. 

This journey was a  five-year process where she learned to harness her unique voice. The development process in Broadway involves fine-tuning every aspect of the show, from lyrics to melodies, and Menzel relished being part of that creative journey.

She also opened up to Jay Shetty about the challenges of transitioning from theater to mainstream music and how her versatility, while a strength, led to confusion about her identity as an artist. In the '90s, there was a distinct separation between theater and pop/rock careers. Menzel navigated the delicate balance between both worlds.

Despite her impressive career, Menzel admits to constantly feeling the fear of being fired, a common sentiment among artists. Her journey took her to London's West End, where she realized her dream of opening a show. However, the rigorous schedule of eight weekly shows can be grueling. After winning a Tony Award, she appreciated the pressure-free performing environment.

ABC Grading System

Idina Menzel opens up to Jay Shetty about a challenging period in her career when she lost her voice due to overuse and neglect of vocal training. Despite having sung at weddings and other gigs, the demands of performing eight shows a week on Broadway were a new level of strain. She returned to vocal training to address the issues and emerged even more potent.

Menzel reveals the exceptional commitment of the original Rent cast never to miss a show, driven by their dedication to communicating Jonathan Larson's message. This commitment set a precedent for her career. The pressure of being the marquee name in production further adds to the stress. Still, she's learned to pace herself and developed a unique approach. She categorizes her performances as A, B, and C shows, allowing her to adjust her expectations and reduce self-imposed pressure.

Jay Shetty appreciates Menzel's ABC grading system, acknowledging its applicability beyond the stage. They discuss how people often overanalyze their performances, and others may not notice their perceived flaws. Menzel's ability to apply this grading technique in various aspects of life, including motherhood, reflects her journey of self-discovery and self-compassion.

The Impact of Motherhood

Idina Menzel shares with Jay Shetty how becoming a mother transformed her perspective and allowed her to be kinder to herself. She explains that being a mother to her son helped her gain a profound philosophy and prioritize what truly matters. When her son was unwell, she realized that her previous anxieties about her performance faded compared to caring for her child.

Menzel discusses her journey to self-compassion and reveals that she has sought help, even taking medication when necessary. She acknowledges that many people, including herself, struggle with self-criticism and the challenge of being present in the moment. Despite not having all the answers, she has developed practical techniques, like her ABC grading system, to stay grounded and focused.

Menzel also credits her supportive husband, who works in mental health, for his understanding and perspective. His unyielding support has been instrumental in her journey to self-acceptance and self-kindness.

Being There for Her Son

Jay Shetty and Idina Menzel delve into the shifting dreams and priorities in their lives, particularly in the context of raising children. Menzel shares how her dreams have evolved over the years, explaining that while she continues to strive for professional growth, her primary focus is now on her son, who identifies as black.

As a mother of a biracial child, Menzel is deeply committed to understanding her son's experiences and struggles. She emphasizes the importance of being a supportive and empathetic mother. She acknowledges that there will be aspects of his life she cannot fully comprehend due to her different life experiences. Menzel is determined to educate herself to become a better advocate for her son, especially in a world marked by racial tensions and violence.

Jay Shetty also reflects on his rebellious teenage years and how his parents used books of inspirational figures to connect with him during that challenging phase. He suggests that sometimes children need voices outside their immediate family to provide guidance and perspective.

Menzel's new children's book, co-written with her sister Cara, aims to inspire children who may be hesitant or lack self-confidence. The book addresses self-discovery, vulnerability, and embracing one's uniqueness. It is a testament to Menzel's commitment to supporting young people in their journeys towards self-acceptance.

Loud Mouse

Jay Shetty and Idina Menzel touch upon the dynamics of sibling relationships and the complexity of finding one's voice. Idina Menzel, known for her powerful singing, shares that her natural disposition is relatively soft-spoken and struggles with self-doubt like everyone else.

There is a misconception that someone who can project their voice and captivate large audiences must be perpetually confident and fearless. Menzel challenges this notion, emphasizing that performers have days when they struggle to find their voice and courage. She underscores the importance of recognizing that every individual, regardless of their outward persona, experiences vulnerability and self-doubt.

Menzel's new children's book, co-authored with her sister Cara, is about that struggle. They chose a mouse as the protagonist, symbolizing that even small voices can profoundly impact when shared with the world. Through this book, Menzel hopes to inspire children to embrace their uniqueness and be unafraid to be seen and heard.

Jay Shetty notes that voices are shaped by external influences, particularly in the context of actors who immerse themselves in various characters. 

Impactful Characters Played

Menzel reflects on the reciprocal relationship between herself and the characters she portrays, where she infuses her characters with elements of her voice. In turn, the characters influence her. She reveals that each character she's played has left a unique imprint on her life. 

Characters like the one in Rent allowed her to embrace fearlessness, sensuality, and humor. In contrast, her role in Wicked pushed her to confront her insecurities and tap into her larger-than-life qualities.

Jay Shetty acknowledges that embodying a character goes far deeper than mere performance; it becomes an integral part of an actor's life. The intensity of performing in a long-running show like Rent further solidifies the connection between the actor and the character. Menzel adds that revisiting characters after several years, as she did in Rent: The Movie and Enchanted, offers a fascinating perspective on how life experiences inform her portrayal of the essence.

Menzel recalls how her approach to acting has evolved with age. She notes that as she's grown older, she has become more aware of the potential pitfalls and has occasionally become trapped in her head.

Values Change Over Time

Jay Shetty and Menzel discuss personal growth and evolving values. Menzel reflects on something she used to value but now finds less important—being liked and caring about what others think. Jay Shetty shares his realization that fully understanding someone is nearly impossible and the undue pressure placed on achieving complete understanding.

The conversation concludes by reminding the listeners about Menzel's book, Loud Mouse, which carries an essential message about embracing one's unique qualities and being seen. The book is accompanied by a song that aligns with its themes, making it a valuable addition to children's literature.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode on “Idina Menzel ON How to Be Present Without Self Judgment or Criticism & The Importance of Consistency to Achieve Your Goals” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.