Jay Shetty & Bill Gates ON Who Is Bill Gates

Can one of the richest people on the planet also be one of the most reflective about life, success, and giving back? 

In this On Purpose episode, Jay Shetty sits down with Bill Gates for a deep dive into formative childhood experiences, lessons learned from competitive tech days, and the philanthropic mission now driving the entrepreneur’s future. 

Bill Gates, the co-founder of Microsoft and a groundbreaking philanthropist, reveals a far more personal side in this interview. He opens up about the milestones and missteps that shaped him, the role therapy played in redirecting his tension at home, and how a tight-knit circle of friends (and a few tragic losses) clarified his mission. 

Growing Up Different

Bill Gates opened up to Jay Shetty about his childhood - he was curious and intelligent, with a restless spirit. He used to hike around Seattle’s idyllic forests, learning how to be independent and hone his problem-solving skills. Gates recalls these outdoor adventures as quite demanding, but they also helped him become more resilient. In an era when people lived in tight-knit communities, he had many opportunities for both physical and mental exploration.

Gates's parents recognized his advanced abilities but didn't know how to best channel them. Bill Gates jokingly suggests to Jay Shetty that a therapist might have labeled him ADHD or on the autism spectrum, given his intense focus, occasional social struggles, and the rocking habit while concentrating. When he did seek professional support, his family counselor taught young Gates to manage conflict more productively and see his parents as advocates rather than opponents.

A Mixed Relationship with School

In school, some teachers saw Gates as a high achiever, while others believed he required more structure or discipline. The entrepreneur told Jay Shetty that he turned in a 200-page report about Delaware when most classmates submitted only a fraction of that length. Although academically impressive, his tendency to overachieve sometimes felt uncomfortable.

Whether consuming math textbooks or engaging in advanced programming, Bill Gates frequently found himself at odds with teachers who considered his learning style disruptive. He attributes his ability to manage the pressure of wanting to excel and not always fitting neatly into conventional educational systems to his therapy sessions. To his surprise, the entrepreneur learned that being too far ahead of others can cause as much frustration as lagging behind.

Gates observes that the shortcomings of traditional education have not significantly changed since he was a student. He and Jay Shetty agree that while computers and online resources have improved access to information, they haven’t fundamentally transformed classroom education, which Gates attributes to a lack of motivation. He believes that if students become disengaged, no technology alone can reinspire them. So, he hopes to leverage upcoming AI personal tutors to customize lessons and spark real curiosity in students across the globe.

Parents Who Pushed

Bill Gates acknowledged to Jay Shetty that his parents both influenced him in their unique ways. His mother was high-energy, setting sky-high expectations, and emphasized social etiquette, often expressing frustration if he didn’t excel. On the other hand, his father was calm and methodical and acted as a steady presence during conflicts.

Despite some conflicts during his teenage years, Bill Gates understands that his mother’s demands pushed him to strive beyond intellectual achievement. He is also thankful to his father for teaching him to handle difficult situations diplomatically.

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Today, Bill Gates advocates for the principle of calm negotiation as a style of leadership, emphasizing its role in maintaining relationships and encouraging solutions. He shared with Jay Shetty that he is grateful for his mother's insistence to strive for excellence - looking back, the combination of an enthusiastic mother and a composed father gave the entrepreneur the foundation to sprint toward big projects—while remaining open to compromise or have deeper conversations along the way.

The Loss of a Close Friend

Bill Gates openly discussed with Jay Shetty the loss of his youth best friend, Kent Evans, who died at the young age of seventeen. While the entrepreneur had an otherwise easy childhood, the loss of Evans shattered that sense of security. He spent time with his friend's grieving parents but later drifted away because seeking formal grief counseling wasn’t widely accepted at the time. Only later did Bill Gates realize he needed to keep talking about Kent, both to honor him and to integrate his emotions.

This tragedy also influenced how the entrepreneur cherishes friendships, especially the bond he formed with Paul Allen, which helped fill the gap left by Evans. Throughout his life, Gates faced multiple losses, including Allen's passing. He admitted to Jay Shetty that speaking more openly about these friendships and their endings feels both painful and cathartic.

Becoming a Philanthropist

Jay Shetty noted that many successful entrepreneurs turn to philanthropy; Gates believes that his mother planted the seed of his charitable spirit because she frequently reminded him that success comes with a responsibility to give back. However, it wasn’t until his late 40s that he stepped away from Microsoft to focus on the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.

The entrepreneur told Jay Shetty that philanthropic work requires different skills compared to his software dominance: he seeks partnerships with governments and nonprofits for causes like polio eradication and malaria research. Gates believes in strategic giving for maximum benefit and expects other wealthy figures to also engage in significant charitable efforts in time.

Gates and Jobs: Rivalry and Mutual Respect

Bill Gates explained to Jay Shetty that, despite the occasional apparent conflicts, he and Steve Jobs shared a genuine camaraderie. They began working together when Gates supplied the Apple Soft BASIC language for the Apple II and collaborated closely on software for the Mac. Althrough Jobs had strong opinions on design and marketing, calling Bill Gates a “General Motors type,” Gates jokingly labeled Apple a "niche player.”

When Jobs was removed from Apple, Bill Gates kept the lines of communication open, even if he didn't share Jobs’s enthusiasm for the NeXT computer. When Jobs returned to Apple and transformed it into the most valuable company worldwide, Gates saw a more evolved and visionary partner. Their final conversations after Jobs fell ill revealed a reflective side: they discussed raising children, how computing had (and hadn’t) improved education, and how their distinct talents had propelled the tech revolution.

From Tough Boss to Empathetic Manager

Gates admitted to Jay Shetty that, in the beginning, he often micromanaged his employees in a demanding way, applying the same harsh self-criticism to them as he did to himself. If he discovered a programming mistake, he would respond with sharp comments, failing to understand how such actions could damage team morale.

As Microsoft expanded, it became necessary to bring on marketing experts, sales professionals, and creative individuals. Bill Gates started noticing that only a small number of these employees thrived under such constant scrutiny. Colleagues encouraged him to embrace compassion and let employees set their own objectives. While he maintained his detail-oriented nature, Gates started to reduce his top-down control, as he understood that trust and delegation foster progress in large organizations.

Gates admits to Jay Shetty that he is constantly working on improving in this aspect. Innovative ideas can come from unexpected places, and humility allows for such discoveries. However, the entrepreneur believes that his youthful controlling approach was essential for survival in a competitive tech realm.

Embracing Therapy as a Lifelong Practice

Around the age of twelve, Gates's mother mother took him to therapy after frequent arguments. Rather than dismissing this experience, he credits Dr. Cressy with helping him understand that the ongoing conflict at home was a “battle” without true winners. He told Jay Shetty that his therapist also challenged his perceived need to be the winner and guided him toward understanding parental boundaries and building partnerships instead.

As an adult, the entrepreneur consulted therapists during critical moments—philanthropic shifts or major leadership decisions. Therapy helps him balance his emotional and rational sides, especially in high-stakes, high-profile roles. Gates appreciates that modern culture sees it as a tool for growth, unlike decades ago. Thanks to therapy, he was able to integrate intense cognitive pressures with emotional health and cope with personal losses, feeling less isolated.

Reflections on AI, Democracy, and Society’s Next Big Steps

Though Bill Gates’s philanthropic work spans health, education, and climate issues, he and Jay Shetty note that AI could overshadow them all in global importance. Bill Gates envisions a near future where personal tutor software can help any student, anywhere, bridging the quality gaps in education that traditional schooling hasn’t fixed. Similarly, AI-led breakthroughs in healthcare (diagnostics, prescribing, patient monitoring) could transform access for underserved populations.

Yet Bill Gates warns that without careful governance, AI might exacerbate misinformation, heighten polarization, and displace job markets too abruptly. He hopes that future US policies will address AI regulation as a preventive measure rather than after an unfortunate event. For the entrepreneur, the primary question concerns not whether AI is inevitable but how human cooperation can prevent the worst potential outcomes.

Carrying It Forward

Bill Gates lived a life full of purpose, soon turning 70. One of the most significant influences in his life was Warren Buffet, who encouraged him to explore Andrew Carnegie’s Gospel of Wealth, which shaped his belief that significant wealth should benefit society with thoughtful impact. Jay Shetty emphasizes that the entrepreneur’s approach to philanthropy could motivate a new generation to view “service” as an ultimate goal rather than just temporary generosity.

Bill Gates believes that the time to start making a difference is immediate. Whether with climate, malnutrition, or AI regulation, he sees no benefit in delay. He agreed with Jay Shetty that society might lean more organically into altruism if acts of service were rewarded and celebrated instead of people's wealth. As a key figure in the development of modern computing, Bill Gates remains committed to the idea that data, collaboration, and an open perspective can lead us forward as long as we don't lose sight of our shared humanity.

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode “Bill Gates ON The Untold Story of Who Bill Gates REALLY Is” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.