Jay Shetty & Becky G ON Finding Your Sense of Belonging

Jay Shetty welcomes Becky G to his show in this On Purpose episode. She is a renowned singer, songwriter, actress, and activist. Her career boasts Latin Grammy nominations, chart-topping hits, and a multi-platinum album. She discussed her latest album, Esquinas.

Longing for Acceptance

Becky G reflected on her life's trajectory, revealing her natural observer tendency and a deep desire to connect with others. Her upbringing in a diverse, nurturing family shaped her commitment to making people feel seen and heard. She recognized the social constructs often forcing individuals to compromise their authenticity to fit into predefined molds. These early experiences sparked her mission to foster connections and break free from the confines of societal labels.

Becky G's latest album, Esquina, is rooted in the idea of the 200%. As a Mexican-American, Becky G shared her struggle with being "half of this" and "half of that." She rejected the idea that she must sacrifice parts of her identity to belong somewhere. Instead, she embraced her heritage, proudly proclaiming herself 200% - a blend of two cultures, languages, and worlds. Her message resonated with Jay Shetty, who found parallels in his life as he navigated his diverse roles and identities.

Bridging Worlds

Becky G's path to self-acceptance was marked by the desire to break free from societal boxes and expectations. She compared her previous attempts to conform to sleeping uncomfortably on a plane. This experience might work for a while but ultimately leaves you yearning for the comfort of your bed. This realization made her question why she should compromise her true self to fit into predetermined molds.

A pivotal moment in Becky G's journey came when she decided to pursue Spanish music. This transition required her to confront her fear of not being accepted within the Latin community due to her American roots. Drawing inspiration from Selena Quintanilla, she decided to be herself. So, she broke free from the pressure to be more Mexican than Mexican and more American than American.

Growing up in the Spotlight

Becky G shared with Jay Shetty her early enthusiasm for being in the public eye, feeling like it was a space where she could be herself. However, she highlighted the exposure it brings, not just to support but also to criticism and negativity. 

As she transitioned into her teenage years, Becky G became more aware of the judgment she faced, from her appearance to her personal life. She revealed that the pressure to provide for her family added an extra layer of complexity, as it was no longer just about her but everyone who depended on her success.

Jay Shetty pointed out the societal conditioning that pushes people to seek approval and likability from others. Growing up, many of us played roles around making those around us happy. However, as we mature, especially in the public eye, we realize that we cannot please everyone, which can be challenging.

Becky G shared her journey of self-discovery, acknowledging that she doesn't have to be liked by everyone. She spoke about the importance of setting boundaries and not succumbing to the pressure to be constantly active on social media. She emphasized the value of quality connections over quantity, recognizing that real-world experiences matter.

The conversation touched on the fear of change and growth, especially when transitioning from a known identity to something new. Jay Shetty reflected on his own experience when he quit drinking alcohol, facing resistance from friends who were accustomed to his previous behavior. Similarly, Becky G had lived most of her life in the public eye. She shared aspects of herself that might no longer reflect her current self. She discussed the challenges of evolving and changing while having her past documented online.

Moreover, Becky G admitted to Jay Shetty that making these shifts has been challenging and that she often faces challenges. However, she expressed pride in her willingness to confront these difficulties head-on. 

Three-Legged Table

Becky G shared insights into her daily routines and habits with Jay Shetty, focusing on the three essential pillars of her life: mind, body, and soul. She referred to this concept as the three-legged table.

Starting with the mind, Becky G emphasized the importance of disconnecting from her phone in the morning. It helps her avoid distractions and begin her day with intention. She does a monthly social media detox, completely deleting social media apps from her phone for at least seven days. This practice allows her to reset, reevaluate her relationship with social media, and prioritize real-world connections.

Regarding the spiritual aspect, Becky G highlighted the significance of meditation and prayer in her life. Guided meditation helps her silence her racing thoughts and find inner peace, which she practices twice daily. Besides, she uses Wim Hof's breathing techniques, often combined with soothing frequencies, to relax her nervous system and experience a sense of spirituality. Prayer is another essential component of her spiritual routine, as it helps her surrender, let go of control, and trust in a higher power.

About physical routines, Becky G revealed to Jay Shetty her newfound passion for fitness and gym workouts. She emphasized the importance of caring for her body, prioritizing sleep, maintaining a balanced diet, and exercising regularly. Physical strength and well-being contribute to her overall sense of self and her ability to navigate life's challenges.

Becky G sees these three pillars as interconnected, contributing to her overall well-being and success. While her routines may still evolve, she acknowledges the importance of taking one step at a time, focusing on each pillar individually, and allowing them to support one another.

Follow the Inner Compass

Becky G defines a quality connection as one where she feels safe to be authentic. She emphasizes the importance of authenticity and the inner feeling of alignment. She shares with Jay Shetty that in the past, she often ignored her inner compass when she felt something was off due to her people-pleasing tendencies. She believed she had to conform to others' expectations and was afraid of coming across as inauthentic.

Reflecting on her life, Becky G had let others make decisions for her, leading to regrets and missed opportunities. She discussed the anxiety and panic attacks she experienced due to this internal conflict. Over time, she learned that just because she could do something didn't mean she should. This realization helped her prioritize her well-being and authenticity.

Therapy played a significant role in Becky G's journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Initially, therapy was reactive to real-time stressors in her life. However, as she delved deeper, she uncovered childhood issues, recognizing that she went without specific essential experiences and needs. This newfound empathy for herself allowed her to acknowledge that everyone, including her parents, was doing their best. She also highlighted to Jay Shetty the importance of taking inventory of one's life, relationships, and memories to gain perspective.

Family therapy was another crucial step in her healing journey, as it allowed her to address her roles within her family dynamic. Becky G acknowledged her tendency to take on parental roles as the eldest sibling, learning to relinquish rigid roles.

Furthermore, Becky G shared with Jay Shetty her recent exploration of her inner world in therapy. This approach involves acknowledging different aspects of oneself, such as the inner child and the empowered visionary. It is crucial to intellectualize and somatically feel your emotions. She recognized that suppressing feelings could lead to anxiety and depression.

Letting It All Out

Becky G shared with Jay Shetty that crying can be a release and relief. She recounted how she had cried that morning, recognizing that the current stressful times in her career and life can lead to emotional moments. She stressed the importance of acknowledging the challenges in life and allowing yourself to experience the full spectrum of emotions.

Jay Shetty noted that society often encourages laughter but discourages crying, even though both are natural emotional responses. He highlighted the significance of accepting and respecting all emotions rather than categorizing them as right or wrong.

Becky G echoed the importance of understanding core emotions and their manifestations. She emphasized the need to check in with yourself regularly and make time for feelings, whether expressing joy or acknowledging fear and anxiety. 

Good Thing, Bad Thing

A Zen story tells of a son finding and riding a wild horse, initially appearing as a great fortune. However, the horse throws the son off, leading to a leg injury. Later, when the village recruits young men to join the army, the injured son is spared. In each instance, the father responds, "Good thing, bad thing. Who knows? Let's see." This story emphasizes the ever-changing nature of life and the uncertainty of outcomes.

Becky G and Jay Shetty highlighted the challenge of adopting this perspective in a world that often categorizes events as good or bad. Jay pointed out that our minds are conditioned to think in these dichotomies, making it difficult to see beyond immediate judgments. However, reframing experiences as learning, growth, and healing opportunities is crucial.

Becky G wishes for future generations to embrace this mindset. She recognizes that many individuals, especially those from underserved communities, often navigate life without being taught specific crucial life skills.

We All Need Love

Jay Shetty shared his recent book tour experience, describing it as grueling and fulfilling. He emphasized how relationships, especially romantic ones, have the potential to affect and transform us profoundly.

Becky G resonated with the idea that romantic relationships are a unique space for self-discovery and growth. She acknowledged that these relationships allow individuals to examine themselves in ways that may not be possible in other relationships. Becky G also highlighted the potential for these relationships to uncover your strengths and capacity for giving.

Mindset plays a crucial role in approaching romantic relationships. Becky G shared with Jay Shetty how she shifted her perspective from feeling "unlucky in love" to recognizing the luck and opportunities for growth that each relationship brought. Self-reflection and accountability are key within these intimate connections, with powerful potential for healing and self-discovery in romantic relationships.

Inner Reflection

Jay Shetty and Becky G underscored the importance of filtering the external noise, focusing on what's real versus what's portrayed on social media. To Becky G, discerning who deserves entry into the sacred spaces of our lives is very important; we deserve filters to safeguard our well-being. 

Jay Shetty discussed the role of ego in our interactions. He encouraged the listeners to question the ego-driven wins versus the more significant ones that align with their values and goals. He underscored the necessity of looking beyond the immediate situation and analyzing the broader context.

Becky G compared life's journey to constructing houses, acknowledging that we all evolve and build unique shelters over time. These symbolic houses may have open windows, locks on doors, and boundaries that balance connection and self-preservation.

New Home, New Dreams

At just nine years old, Becky G's family lost their home. They moved into a converted garage, sharing the tight space with bunk beds, a futon, and an Ikea table. Despite the difficult circumstances, young Becky G developed a deep passion for acting, inspired by young actresses like Dakota Fanning. Determined, she embarked on an acting career, even presenting her parents with a contract, requesting six months to pursue her dream.

Becky G explained to Jay Shetty the pivotal role of her childhood garage in igniting her desire to succeed. It was a symbol of resilience, determination, and unwavering ambition. 

Constant Evolution

Becky G discussed her faith journey with Jay Shetty, emphasizing the value of spirituality as a mutual connection with a higher source. She also shared her belief in balance and the purpose behind life's experiences.

Prayer is us humans talking to a higher power. At the same time, meditation is the divine speaking to us. Jay Shetty and Becky G emphasized the importance of listening and the lost art of effective communication. However, Becky G has a positive and open mindset; she trusts in the universe's plans and her commitment to growth. 

More From Jay Shetty

Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode on “Becky G ON Finding Your Sense of Belonging & How to Masterfully Block Negativity and Rejection” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.