Joy is the catalyst
She doesn’t even care that it is Wednesday.
The day that the New York Times bestseller’s list drops, Gabrielle Bernstein is too busy going about her business to dwell on the status of her new book. Bernstein confesses to Jay Shetty that previously, she would have stalked the page and waited anxiously for the results.
This time, however, her book had already achieved its purpose. It had already helped people and made them feel good in the process. To her, the payoff was complete.
The longer the spiritual guide and self-help guru has been around, the harder she has fallen back on simplicity to reap results. Fourteen years ago, Bernstein hit rock bottom, and it was the best “worst thing” that could have happened to her. She sobered up, got spiritual, and focused on doing more with less.
Recently, she sat down with Jay Shetty in an episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty and revealed the secrets found in her new book. She also shared how motherhood has transformed her and divulged why working harder just isn’t on her agenda these days.
Super Attractors, Unite!
The title of Gabby Bernstein’s new book, Super Attractors, may seem intimidating, but the concept is simple: super attractors are people who align themselves with feeling good. She explains to Jay Shetty that super attractors embrace the process and seek to serve others. In the meantime, their good intentions bring fulfillment and purpose.
Bernstein’s life and career has been built on a journey of discovery, and she is just now discovering a release from working so hard at it.
“I think most people are taking action from a place of stress, fear, uncertainty, pushing, controlling,” Bernstein told Jay Shetty. “‘If I don't make it happen, it's not going to happen’. That belief system is blocking your super attractor power. We have to get out of that pusher mentality and out of that controlling behavior to allow the presence of spirit to work through us.”
Bernstein believes manifesting is key for a super attractor.
“Tell me where are we going wrong with manifesting?” asked Jay Shetty. “Like what are the biggest mistakes, the myths, the things that are not really right?”
Bernstein believes there are several things that hold people back from manifesting to their potential:
- Working out of a place of fear or stress. Plainly put, they’re trying too hard, which has the opposite effect.
- Trying to control and be in charge. When we try to control a situation, we are actually working against the universe and the higher power. Striving brings stress, not success.
- Comparing ourselves with others. Insecurity and feelings of not measuring up block our ability to manifest our desires.
- Scarcity mentality. Believing there isn’t enough to go around also hinders manifestation.
- Pride. Thinking we’re better than others is also a block to manifesting.
Bernstein’s book unpacks other ways that people block manifesting as well, but a thread of hope is woven throughout. If people do the work, they can make progress and get past their blocks.
“I guide the reader in the book to unpack that behavior and to recognize how much it's blocking someone from allowing and letting what they desire to come into their life,” Bernstein explains to Jay Shetty. “The real secret is to feel good. The secret is to love where you are in the moment and not compare yourself to where you think you should be. Once you start just being psyched about what is, more of what you desire comes to you.”
Action after addressing and removing blocks is the next step, but it doesn’t require a lot of doing, per se. You’re already being guided.
“The thing that's most important is to trust that if you're watching this right now, that you are in fact, being guided,” Bernstein told Jay Shetty’s listeners. “So take that in fully and completely, and then your next step is to recognize the guidance and follow the guidance you receive.”
Guidance can come in the form of books to read, a therapist to consult, or just sitting in nature to see how the Higher Power meets you.
One of the most beautiful lessons Bernstein has learned showed up when she least expected it – and when she needed it the most.
After trying to conceive for three years. Bernstein was at the end of her rope. She had done everything right, but her dream of having a baby seemed far away. Finally, she surrendered.
“I started practicing the methods that I teach in the book of just really trusting that there was a higher guidance that I believed in for my whole life and relying on that,” said Bernstein. “And that's when things started to get really wild and synchronistic.”
On a drive through the countryside, she felt the presence of a baby in the backseat. In that moment, her intuition spoke loud, telling her that a baby would be coming in March. Bernstein later discovered she had conceived on the last day of March.
She looks back at the way the universe guided her, the signs she was given, and how she surrendered, and she knows that results came from those things.
Jay Shetty Asks About Spiritually Aligned Action
“The biggest challenge people have, is we always look at things as black and white,” Jay Shetty said. “And maybe this is the question for the ages … How do we lean into that guidance of the universe as our guide and stop trying so hard?”
Bernstein said the answer lies in spiritually aligned action.
“It’s a method that I've been practicing throughout my entire career, and it's been the key to my successes and my happiness and my joy and everything,” she said. Bernstein urged listeners to try it for themselves.
The first step to recognizing where the universe is leading is to recognize when a desire is backed with joy, love, and service. Bernstein explained that these are the foundations of fulfillment. Things take off and flow when joy is the catalyst. When there is fun and play involved, work is getting done but doesn’t feel like drudgery.
The second step is belief. Bernstein encouraged listeners to believe in their worth and that they deserve the good things the universe wants to give them. She urged them to believe the universe can and will guide them. Trusting the guidance of the universe requires faith to let go of striving and allow the universe to do it’s work. Mindset is everything.
“If you're going to pick up the phone and make a cold call about a new job, don't do it from a place of panicked fear and anxiety,” Bernstein said to Jay Shetty. “Do the work to get into a place of recognizing the service behind it and really feeling into the faith that good things can come to you.”
Finally, Bernstein encourages people to be patient. Patience grows strength and faith in yourself and in what the universe is guiding you toward.
This guide to spiritually aligned action resonated with Jay Shetty as well. He shared how he has seen it work in his own life this last year. Following his guidance and intuition, he focused on putting out content he loved and was passionate about, and his growth has been massive.
More importantly, however, Shetty has been at peace with what his success story has looked like. Some have criticized his success as unconventional. Others have challenged his growth. Through it all, Jay has remained confident in where he stands.
“I had to make a choice whether I was going to let that definition dictate if I felt successful now,” Jay Shetty said. “Or do I feel successful from now on because I'm doing what I love every day and I really enjoy it and it's helping people? That was such a distinct thing for me because when I let go and had patience, a lot came out totally organically. None of it was maneuvered and I wasn’t trying.”
Gabby Bernstein is real. She doesn’t string people along, advertising a dream life or an easy time. If anything, she guarantees that getting rid of blocks in a person’s life will bring up more challenges to work through. There’s power in seeing the struggle as a gift, however.
“See the difficult moments as opportunities that are revealing to you what you still need to heal,” Bernstein said to Jay Shetty. “When you flip your perspective of the difficult times and choose to see those difficult times as spiritual assignments to grow, it turns into a miracle.”
Bernstein shared openly about her experience with postpartum depression. Soon after her long awaited baby was born, Bernstein began to struggle. Instead of hiding this or shying away from it, she looked at the opportunity within the struggle. She dug deep to work on what she needed to learn from the situation, and then she looked outward to how her voice and her struggle could help others and has since turned the corner.
“I'm really feeling great,” she told Jay Shetty. “I'm feeling really proud and really grateful that that happened because I can help save women's lives as a result of being able to talk about it with authenticity. I can help be a better voice for mental illness because I've experienced it. I can be a guide for people who need medical support when they really need it and I wouldn't change a thing.”
“Victor Franco, in Man's Search For Meaning, talks so beautifully about how he couldn't make that situation good,” Shetty told Bernstein. “But he knew that if he dealt with it in the right way that it would then teach people in the future.”
A Changed Woman
If there is one thing Gabby Bernstein has learned on this journey, it’s that less is more. Striving and being a workaholic only masked the pain and insecurity that came from trauma and misplaced priorities. Surrender brought healing and wholeness.
Paring life down to what is important has created more room for peace and fulfillment in her life, Bernstein told Jay Shetty. The less she felt sorry for herself, the more she was open to fill her life with goodness.
While her role as a mother has added a layer of complexity to life, Bernstein stands on the same principles she did pre-motherhood.
“Synchronicity is available to all of us,” she encouraged Jay Shetty’s listeners. “But we have to get out of that pusher mentality and out of that controlling behavior to allow the presence of spirit to work through us.”
There is magic in every moment, and Gabby Bernstein is well on her way to discover every morsel of it.
Listen to the entire On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast episode on “How to Manifest What You Need in Life and What Blocks It” now in the iTunes store or on Spotify. For more inspirational stories and messages like this, check out Jay’s website at jayshetty.me.